I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
