Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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