I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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