I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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