we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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