I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
