did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
