i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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