you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize