he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
