Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
