my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
