My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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