so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
