At least make sure they are 18
Why
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
