another moral hangover. fuck.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
