mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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