dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
