But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
