i can't believe i had my finger in that
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
