come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
