I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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