i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
My feet surprised me
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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