it was like his penis was on wheels.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize