Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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