Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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