pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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