I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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