we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
