wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
