I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Still dying that you shit outside
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
