Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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