This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
