so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
