you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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