the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
