Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We are two peas in an std pod
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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