God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
