We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
