I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize