bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
