There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
