when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
