Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize