trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
