But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
