Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We named our party play list daddy issues
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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