1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
