I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize