I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize