woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
