I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
