Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
