pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
