i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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