Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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