I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
