Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
