You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
