i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Only a mothe r could love this liver
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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