I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
